Update: Queen Will Not Attend

Controversy: Fred and Liz flee the press

In reports just in, it is said that the Queen and Prince Philip have decided not to attend the wedding of her distant relative Fredrick Nicholas Beans the 3rd Esquire and his new love Elizabeth Day.

It is believed that the Queen, as head of the church of England, feels that a civil service of such a boring nature would diminish the monarachy as an institution. However, her majesty did promise to remember the couple in her prays.

When asked whether she thought the couple had decided to get married because Liz was preggas, Her Majesty was unable to confirm the rumours. Stories of the couple's "true love" did inspire her, she noted, before asking Phil if he would like to go out for a curry.